anchor into me

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Thursday morning
Writing from the car
Sun is shining the weather is sweet (queue music)
I am parked among the wealthy, the exuberant, the luxurious.
New
Flashy
Shiny
Other.

Why does this always feel so foreign to me?
Oh, that’s a bigger question for another cocktail.
I have a few minutes, and the only thing I want to do is – touch
Hand to heart
Close my eyes, and
Remember me.

Anchor into me.

Can materialistic overwhelm disconnect you from you?
They say it’s true.
I say that it does.
I find myself unchained and segregated, searching for my anchor.

New
Flashy
Shiny
Other.
Physical proof of value and entitlement
The statues, the sprawling greenery, the dream of…

The world loves this shit and I am torn and yet curious by it
Why isn’t it easy?
I look at my basic car
My simple keyboard that connects to my, yes, luxurious phone
I look at my leather bag, authentic jewelry, Nike shoes, American citizenship, and on.

When you look at me, my life is not far off from that.
The abundance I take for granted
I forget
I toss to the side as I look for the next
New
Flashy
Shiny
Other.

drip-drop

drip-drops

A drip-drop of sweat.
Suspended
And then — crash!
Like a coin in water, the ripples explode and then — stop.

I look at it.

A flash —
All the healthy eats
Yoga drips
Facial cleansers/toners/creams
Naps
Sun rays and tree shades from Jackie walks
Arguments with lover (not fights, don’t call them that)
Fears
Dreams
Anxieties
Hopes
Gluten-free organic ice cream
7am wakes and late night meetings
Freeway-traffic-pondering’s and —
Hold up!
Shazaam’ing music that glitters the soul.

This drip-drop comes loaded.
It leaves the body, rich with substance and prana
only to die, stained here on this cycling bike.

Don’t you know? —
This drip comes from a machine of a woman.
A warrior, with super-sonic strength;
metal armor to shield her from doubt,
and a heavy burdened crown, a reward of perseverance.

This drip-drop is evidence of
elbow grease soaked in thick, raw passion.
Well, now you know.

dance with adversity

Abraham Lincoln

After his family was evicted from their home, he had to drop out of school to support them.

At age 21, he experienced his first failure in business. Then, at age 22, he ran for state legislature, and lost. He also lost his job in the process. So he applied for law school, but got rejected.

At 24, he borrowed some money from a friend to start another business, and within 12 months he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt!

At 26, his first love died, leaving him heartbroken. This also led to a nervous breakdown a year later.

He was defeated when he ran for speaker of his state legislature. He also got rejected when he sought to become the elector.

He ran for Congress at 34, and was defeated again. Then he finally won, but lost his re-election.

He sought the job of land officer in his home state, and got rejected. At 45, he ran for Senate of the United States, and lost.

At 47, he sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party’s national convention, and got less than 100 votes. He ran for U.S. Senate again at 49, and lost for a second time.

Finally, at 52 years old, he became the 16th President of the United States.

Although he suffered from clinical depression throughout his life, his ability to handle conflict and dance with adversity was unmatched, and scholars now rank Abraham Lincoln as one of the greatest Presidents ever.

——
Light

create from the hurty poos

the hurty poos

“What are we trying to heal, anyway?

The athlete knows the day will never come when he wakes up pain-free. He has to play hurt.

Remember, the part of us that we imagine needs healing is not the part we create from; that part is far deeper and stronger.

The part we create from can’t be touched by anything our parents did, or society did. That part is unsullied, uncorrupted; soundproof, waterproof, and bulletproof.

In fact, the more troubles we’ve got, the better and richer that part becomes.”

― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

step up/meet it/match it/expand it

Walk into the darkness.
She said.
Don’t look back at your ghost, it’ll never serve you.
What once was, is no longer.
Step up, meet it, match it, expand it.
She said.

I stood stunned.
Who are you to tell me this?
How dare you.
How dare your courage, your groundedness, your skill, your success.
How dare your reason, your age, your wisdom, your heart.

Continue reading “step up/meet it/match it/expand it”

cali teen

bless you

Red tank.
Short denim jeans.
Orange hair growing out from a collision of blonde shades.
Black socks squeezed into matching flip flops.
Old rollie. Used and reused.
Sweet, classic Cali teenager.

Thirteen? 14? 16? No more than that.

She looks nervous, diverts her eyes.
“Can I share the table with you?” I ask.
Thumb in mouth ripping at skin, she nods with eyes drawn away.
Staring off in the distance…

Continue reading “cali teen”

The fox and the tiger

Be the Tiger

A man walking through the forest saw a fox that had lost its legs and wondered how it lived.

Then he saw a tiger with game in its mouth approach the fox. The tiger ate its fill and left the rest of the meat for the fox. The next day the man watched as the tiger again fed the fox with leftover meat.

The man began to wonder about God’s greatness and said to himself, “I, too, shall just rest in a corner with full trust in God who will provide me with all I need.”

He did this for many days but nothing happened, and he was almost at death’s door when he heard a voice say, “Oh you who are in the path of error, open your eyes to the truth! Follow the example of the tiger and stop imitating the disabled fox.”