Done (pt 3)

POPS the club

I am crying
over things that shouldn’t cause so many tears.
I am clutching
to things that everyone else can let go of so easily.
I am ripping
away at my own brain
because the darkness only hurts me more.
I am pushing
because my whole life that’s what I’ve been good at.
I am killing
myself over people
who wouldn’t do the same for me.
I am holding
back from the things that should help me succeed.
I am wandering
through broken pieces
that I shouldn’t have to put together in the first place.
I am over
everything.
I am so
done.

___
Done by Iona Scott, Before There Were BarsPOPS The Club

Done (pt 2)

POPS the club

And of those who say they’ll stay,
who will go?
I am anxious
to be happy, genuinely.
I am hoping
things will only get better.
I am clinging
on to things that stay the same.
I am spiteful
for things that change.
I am giving up
on the things that slowly drift away.
I am grabbing
on to the stuff that hurts me most.
I am trying
to grasp on to stuff that I shouldn’t.
I am losing
my sanity oh-so slowly.
I a starting
to realize ow unfair life is even to those who wait.

__
Done by Iona Scott, Before There Were Bars, POPS The Club

Read Part 1

Done (pt 1)

POPS the club

I am drowning
in my own thoughts.
I am confused
in this world of ignorance.
I am lost
in my own home.
I am hurt
by those who say they care.
I am tired
of trying, only to get nowhere.
I am thrown off
by the words that lead one way,
yet mean another.
I am frustrated
with my giving my all
to only get 10% back.
I am at ease
with things I shouldn’t be OK with.
I am comfortable
with people who challenge me.
I am dying
to see who still stay.

__
Done by Iona Scott, Before There Were Bars, POPS The Club

Read Part 2

pretEnd

pretEnd

I pretend life is perfect
Always popping pot
In my parking lot
I swear when I think life aint fair
I don’t really cry, when I die
I don’t want anyone to cry

Waking up every morning not knowing
If ima Iive or die today
Coming out my pad bumping
Live or die in LA
I live in the present ’cause it’s a gift to be appreciated
Because suicide is so overrated
From rope hugs to heavy drugs
I understand and I know god has a plan
For everybody nice or naughty

Robe Tomas, Before There Were Bars, POPS The Club

first meet

first meet

I can hear my heart beating.
I can hear myself laughing at his jokes.
I can smell the curly fries from Jack in the Box as we walk to my house
I can feel our hands shaking, as if we were very nervous.
Oh, wait… we are.
It’s the first time he’s coming over for dinner with my family.
I open the gate to my house, slowly and lead him in.
As I slam the gate, leaves fall down from the tree as if like snow; but sadly, it doesn’t snow in LA.
We stop and turn to each other when we arrive at the door.
I can hear my breathing.
I can feel him shaking.
I look into his eyes and say to him, “Ready?”
From where we’re standing I can hear them laughing from the other side of the door.
I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine.
I pen the door, as I walk in first.
I smell the sweet apples that are in the basket beside the entrance.
And it started with a “hello.”

__
First Meet by Angela Hernandez from Before There Were Bars, POPS The Club

the double life

I know about things

I am a new person, I may not be the smartest, but I know what’s right for me. I know my value.

I know the feeling of being alone
I know how it feels to have your heart broken
I know how it feels to lose a parent mentally
I know the feeling of always watching your back from every angle
I know the feeling of being handcuffed — being shoved into a cop car and being treated like a criminal
I know the feeling when you feel the rush in your fists and face but step back because you know what you are capable of doing
I know the feeling of carrying drugs in your backpack and hoping you won’t get caught
I know the feeling of having your own mother cry, and you’re the reason why
I know the feeling of punching the wall
I know the feeling of crying at night and picking yourself up the next day and pretending nothing ever happened
I know the feeling of hopping over the fence fearing either you will get your jeans caught or be chased down
I know the feeling of hitting rock bottom.
I know the feeling of living that double life.

__
Excerpt: I Put My Life Together by Katherine Secaida from Before There Were Bars, POPS The Club

the 10:00 a.m. poem

pops the club

Sunny day, roses bloom
Two more hours until it hits noon
Light beaming, dogs barking
Blue sky, day starting
Students running, buses stopping
Stomp the yard, bags dropping
Teachers screaming
Students dreaming
The day’s rolling
Feels slow it’s still morning
On social media, all just scrolling
We all wanna have fun, just go bowling.

__
Jesse Rodriguez, Pops The Club