beep bop boop

Beep Bop Boop

FADE IN: girl on the phone, fidgeting with her hair.

Everyone is outta whack right now.

She sighs.

Like, weird phone calls coming in, wrong emails going out. It’s a THANG. You heard about the eclipsed full moon chaos, yeah?

Puzzled look.

It’s just chaos right now – kids acting outta whack, drama all up and down, mind racing – it’s very eclipsy. You know?

She sighs.

I got a week before I go back to classroom life. What the fuck did I do with this time? Time races on, you know. But, like. What the fuck. Beep, bop, boop, I’ll get my shit together.

You know what? I need to lock myself away for like… 5 days straight. Eat canned food and skull old water and just let my creativity burn. Burn, baby, burn! Let’s it rip. Right now I’m just so occupied with this eclipsy feeling. It’s eating at my LIFE. Like, my time, my attention, my diet, my you know. LIFE.

Yeah. One week, baby. Burn it to the gills. Wait. Is that a thing?

She chuckles.

Sounds like something you’d say, right?

The person on the other end chuckles. 

UGH. Ok. Let’s do this, already.  

the path

the path

HE: I just got back!

SHE: Ah! Beirut! How was it?

HE: Insane, four long months, but so much fun.

SHE: I can only imagine. How was New Mexico?!

HE: Soooo good, great to see the fam. It’s been a minute.

SHE: Aw, that’s so good. Tell me all about Beirut!

She looks at him, through him, in awe.
She eases her envious heart by recalling their conversation from a year ago:

“Build references you’re going to need them. How? Do everything you can think of Now. Before you get busy, before the work comes in hard and heavy, before it all changes.
Go to museums, listen to music, fuck everyone, try every kind of food. Do it all, but all the while: keep. going.
Cuz suddenly, it goes from some times to all the time, and then your schedule is booked 2 years in advance.”

Trust.
Faith.
Stay on the path.

turmeric

Turmeric Tea

He stays in his crate.
Hot water boils.
Sleep is in air.
It’s quiet, except for cars whizzing like the drone of a white noise machine.

I reuse old tea bags.
Kill me.
Tea warms my chin as I type.
I breathe in the earthy smell of turmeric and ginger.

I am thinking stillness.
I am watching the heart carefully open its windows.
I must remain still, allow Grace to unfold.
Or do I disturb it? Say, “This is me! Look at me!”

Well, how much of that noise is actually me?
What am I feeling?
Ok, I am nervous. Anxious.
Heart palpitating with nerves.
Hey, nerves aren’t bad, they can be the positive side of the coin.

It’s so nice to sit here.
The day has yet to begin…
The possibilities are endless.
Turmeric, ginger, stillness, sleepy dogs, a house asleep.

green corn moon

August Green Corn Moon

Some Native American tribes called the August Moon the “Sturgeon Moon” because they knew that the sturgeon of the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain were most readily caught during this Full Moon. They also called August’s Moon the “Full Green Corn Moon.”

Ok, Green Corn Moon, here goes:

I let go of anxiety.

I let go of perfection.

I let go of force.

I cultivate trust.

I cultivate purpose.

I cultivate facing those demons.

Your turn.
Liza Fernandez

animals

549141_642796145737726_801949160_n.jpgIt’s like the zoo when we watch animals.
Observing their natural behavior, well, as natural as you can get in a zoo.
She’s beautiful.
Fit, pleasant to look at.
She arouses.

Saturday morning
And I know what she must be thinking.
It’s swirling in her head like thick butter.
The, “Why did I do that?!” to the, “Well, that’s me.”
Yup, you’re right.
And we are all watching.
You gave us no other choice.

She’s not malicious.
She’s not intentionally doing it.
It’s in her nature.
Like an animal.

I imagine her sending texts to everyone, “Thank you soooooo much!!!!”
Too many ooooooo and too many “!!!!!”
Too many and yet not enough to cleanse away that… hiccup? Step back? Mistake?

Life goes on, habits play out, the story hasn’t ended.
All in natural form.
Like animals in a zoo.