sucks the air thin

sucks the air thin

There’s a silence that’s almost deafening.
The kind where, at a party, the music stops and everyone looks up and says to no one, “Hey, what happened?”
The kind that the body shutters from its piercing.
A Void.

I was turning 16. I wanted a big party; bodyguards, a live band, DJ, pay at the door, the whole shebang. I worked hard; I got my artistic sister to create the flyer, gave them out at my and my brother’s schools. A week before, everyone was talking about it, the word spread quick. The band was known enough to build a crowd, I was in love with the drummer who should’ve been the lead singer he was that eccentric.

I rented a trophy room off a big sports facility, facing a big oval where my brother’s school played footy. The party drew a huge crowd, a long line waited around the bend even until 11pm, an hour before close. I was shocked. I barely knew anyone, and when I did, they were intoxicated and in the throes of what it took to be a teenager at a party in the 90s.

Flash forward to afterward. Mum, bro and sis, and my best friends, with black trash bags and rubber gloves, helped me clean up the evidence. Well, enough to get our safety deposit back.

I must’ve sat down somewhere, took it all in. I hope I did. I’m hoping I popped a squat facing the oval of lush greenery and tsunamic eucalyptus trees. Muscles spent and feet regaining circulation from improper use of heels. A mix of pride and exhaustion. A mix of elation and isolation.

And then silence.
The Void.

How it sucks the air thin.

gracias a la vida

Violeta Parra was Chilean

Thanks to life (Thankful for life) (Thanks to Life)

which has given me so much

He gave me two eyes,
when open

perfectly distinguish
Black White

And in the sky,
her starry background

and the crowds,
the man I love.

Continue reading “gracias a la vida”

dreams to remember

I’ve got dreams, dreams to remember
I’ve got dreams, dreams to remember

Honey, I saw you there last night
Another man’s arms holding you tight
Nobody knows what I feel inside
All I know, I walked away and cried

I’ve got dreams
Dreams to remember
Listen to me
(I’ve got dreams) rough dreams (dreams to remember)

I know you said he was just a friend
But I saw him kiss you again and again
These eyes of mine, they don’t fool me
Why did he hold you so tenderly?

I’ve got dreams
Dreams to remember
Listen, honey
(I’ve got dreams) rough dreams (dreams to remember)

I still want you to stay
I still love you anyway
I don’t want you to ever leave
Girl, you just satisfy me, ooh-wee

I know you said he was just a friend
But I saw you kiss him again and again
These eyes of mine, they don’t fool me
Why did he hold you so tenderly?

I’ve got dreams
Dreams to remember
Listen to me, mama
(I’ve got dreams) bad dreams, rough dreams, oh (dreams to remember)
Don’t make me suffer, don’t let me
(I’ve got dreams, dreams, dreams to remember) rough dreams, bad dreams, rough dreams

– Otis Redding

drip-drop

drip-drops

A drip-drop of sweat.
Suspended
And then — crash!
Like a coin in water, the ripples explode and then — stop.

I look at it.

A flash —
All the healthy eats
Yoga drips
Facial cleansers/toners/creams
Naps
Sun rays and tree shades from Jackie walks
Arguments with lover (not fights, don’t call them that)
Fears
Dreams
Anxieties
Hopes
Gluten-free organic ice cream
7am wakes and late night meetings
Freeway-traffic-pondering’s and —
Hold up!
Shazaam’ing music that glitters the soul.

This drip-drop comes loaded.
It leaves the body, rich with substance and prana
only to die, stained here on this cycling bike.

Don’t you know? —
This drip comes from a machine of a woman.
A warrior, with super-sonic strength;
metal armor to shield her from doubt,
and a heavy burdened crown, a reward of perseverance.

This drip-drop is evidence of
elbow grease soaked in thick, raw passion.
Well, now you know.

no days off

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Bob Marley was shot in his home just two days before he was set to headline a free concert to help unite the political factions in Jamaica. He was warned of more violence if he appeared on stage.

However, he refused to let the threats of violence or his poor health deter him, and ended up delivering an inspired performance before 80,000 of his countrymen—one of the most impactful shows of his career.

When asked why he still played the concert even after being shot and threatened, Bob explained, “The people who are trying to make this world worse aren’t taking a day off. So how can I?”
__
Light Watkins

faith

Beatles: Eight Days A Week

“We had to have faith in each other.”

We grew up quickly
Shot through the air like a canon ball
Yet, beware!, they said
All canon balls fall, they warned.
I see them
Those, down there, waiting for your collapse.
“Today is the day,” they said.

How do you stay creative?
Whether it’s the world offered to you on a silver spoon
Or,
In the thick of life’s drudgery,
Where monotony and struggle are your best friends
And
Spoons are only bought from Salvation Army.
Either one —
One must decide to stay creative.
Cuz both worlds choke.

Continue reading “faith”

get swept under

I don’t want to be your friend
I just want to be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I’ll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I’ll do mine

Fall off the table
Get swept under
Denial, denial

Continue reading “get swept under”