A remote tribe in the southern part of Africa was discovered to employ a unique tactic for righting a wrong:
When a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, while every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual.
Then, one at a time, each person in the tribe steps in front of the accused and recalls a positive deed the person in the circle has done in his lifetime. All of his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. This ceremony can last for several days.
At the end, the circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is welcomed back into the good graces of the tribe.
Feel from the inside, she tells me.
It may mean breathing differently.
Close the door from the world and give it a few seconds longer to “log in”.
Stop from feeling through the mind, that doesn’t work.
Feel from the inside.
The guts, your innards.
She’s leaving me.
I definitely feel that.
The heart aches, the mind ever-so proud, the revenge pulsates.
But what for? And who cares?
Nothing changes what’s to come, she’s leaving me.
Stop being so dramatic.
Continue reading “a solid goodbye”
I had a friend whose mother packed her lunch every day for school when she was in first grade. It was later discovered that the child had been giving away half of her food each afternoon to another first grader whose parents couldn’t afford packed lunches.
Instead of berating the child for sharing her only sustenance, her mother began sending her to school with two lunches—one for her, and one for her classmate.
This is the essence of how reciprocity works: as the child shared what she had, she eventually received even more of it to give. In other words, reciprocity is between the giver and the giver, not the giver and the receiver.