Hopes n’ Dreams – pizzaslices

same ol’

It’s the same ol’
He said
She said
Tit for tat
Just like that
How many times
Do I have to ask
Why isn’t it done yet?

Love language
Lost in translation
All the best of intentions
The other side doesn’t get it
Just, accept things as is.

Make me feel better
Let me rest
Take the reigns
Let’s pretend
It can all go away.

Impatience taking over layers of exhaustion
The same ol’
Like a monologue on repeat
A record with no stop to it
Where did it all go?

I don’t want to go to bed like this
And it’s happened all week
Close my eyes
Dreams, sweep me
Let EscapeLand whisk me
Away
Cuz tomorrow,
Tomorrow will be better
We’ll be nicer to each other
A new page,
A new day.

Promise?

March’s Blue Moon

Double whammy this month. March is a Blue Moon, an astronomical term. Not cuz it’s blue but because either it’s either an extra full Moon that occurs in a season, or there’s a second full moon in a calendar month, hence this month’s second moon.

Ok, Beautiful Blue Moon, here goes:

I let go of what I knew.

I let go of what I deem are ‘mistakes’.

I let go of holding back.

…

I cultivate second chances.

I cultivate trying again for the fun of it.

I cultivate freedom.

Your turn.

tomorrow, lovely one

This is my shadow.
A life a few feet behind me.
That shirt. God, I thought I tossed it.
This smell..brings me back to here.
When it was then.

I sat at this very table processing, organizing, dreaming, concocting.
He sat catching a show on the tube.
I would go to sleep full of dreams and plans and, well, darkness.
Truth is,
How can you build on unsteady ground?
This work is hard and real and very necessary.

These pants. I hope they fit.
Do I still want the books, the socks, the dusty makeup?
Maybe not the makeup.
The muffled city outside taps on my window.
Tomorrow, lovely one. Tomorrow.

My little treetop of goodness.
How it fills my soul.
Silence. No dog. No schedule. No errands.
Not yet. Just. Me.
Hard work happens on an exhaustive plane home,
Unpacking and sifting and embracing my fragile heart.

Eyes like thick drops of oil.
Body like a sleepy kitten. Make that an older cat.
And still,
Mind swimming uphill with zest, or maybe desperation.
Nope.
Tomorrow, lovely one. Tomorrow.

Lil’ One

Dear Lil’ One,

Oh mighty one
Survival is an interesting thing.
Living from a fight or flight perspective is daunting and exhausting.
I know you know this.

And yet, here we are yet again, sitting opposite each other.
Waiting.
It’s the waiting game.
Who’ll quit first.

I want you to know
I come with peace in my heart
A white flag in my hand
Hoping we can come to some agreement.

Hoping you’ll be open to some space
A lil’ room for a shift in perspective
See what kind of information that tells us.

The truth is,
What we’ve been doing hasn’t been working.
I know you feel this.
We are spinning plates.

How about a new journey
A new path
No map, besides our instincts and love
Not fear, not competition, not stupid pride
Nothin’ but us.

There is space for you.
There is love for you.
There is possibility beyond this.

March Full Moon

Double whammy. Not only is March when the spring equinox occurs, but also because it will host two full Moons—one today and another on the 31st (just as we had two full Moons in January).

The first full Moon is traditionally called a Full Worm Moon after the earthworms that emerge at this time of year.

Ok, Earthworms Full Moon here goes:

I let go of the same-ol.

I let go of getting it right.

I let go of should’s, could’s, would’s

…

I cultivate space for change.

I cultivate trust, oh-trust.

I cultivate the life force of creativity.

Your turn.

February’s Snow Moon

February’s Moon is traditionally called the Snow Moon because usually the heaviest snows fall in February. This name dates back to the Native Americans during Colonial times when the Moons were a way of tracking the seasons. And the Native Americans were right. On average, February is the USA’s snowiest month, according to data from the National Weather Service.

Ok, sweet Snow Moon, here goes:

I let go of unnecessary weight

I let go of dark energy

I let go of stagnation.

…

I cultivate cave days!

I cultivate creative growth during hibernation

I cultivate elephant pace, royal grace.

Your turn.

I can’t drive my new car in jail.

FADE IN: a woman at the mic in a bar.

I just woke up one day and thought, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to kill my supervisor, is what I wanted to do. And the only reason why I haven’t already done so is cuz I can’t drive my new car in jail.
Yup, I shop.
I’m a complete consumer and I described that as poverty deprivation.
“I need that because it’s going to do something wonderful to my life,” or “Ooooooh, that’s shiny” or “Oh, I know that’ll come in handy one day.”…. and then that shit just sits there. The Amazon Echo Dot? Don’t get it. Waste of your time and money.
What I want is travel and to do things that don’t pertain to products.
I want experiences.
I want to face fears and follow my gut.
I want the Unknown, even though it scares the Holy BeJesus outta me.
But right now
I can’t because I’m always in poverty deprivation, buying and buying and buying.

There’s a calling inside of me.
I can feel it.
But the not knowing makes me cling to what is tangible, the little things that bring little comfort right now, and eventually finds itself in my garage.
In a box. With a box, within a box.

I’m 50 years old.
Someone is pressing fast forward on my recorder, man.
I feel a calling.
A tiny voice,
And I wanna bring that to life.

I need to think outside the box.
Get out of the garage inside my head.
Step away from my computer, and outside my door.
Take some Unknown steps.
Yup, that’s me.