October’s Moon is often referred to as the Full Hunter’s Moon, Blood Moon, or Sanguine Moon. Many moons ago, Native Americans named this bright moon for obvious reasons. The leaves are falling from trees, the deer are fattened, and it’s time to begin storing up meat for the long winter ahead. Because the fields were traditionally reaped in late September or early October, hunters could easily see fox and other animals that come out to glean from the fallen grains. Probably because of the threat of winter looming close, the Hunter’s Moon is generally accorded with special honor, historically serving as an important feast day in both Western Europe and among many Native American tribes.
Ok, full blood moon, here goes:
I let go of ignorance.
I let go of fear.
I let go of the separation.
I cultivate kindness amongst adversity.
I cultivate silence.
I cultivate Unity.
This Chinese Proverb runs deep and addresses any walk of life.
We are all guilty of saying, “I’m too old/young/inexperienced/it’s too late, etc.
But guess what? It takes guts to follow your dreams and give it a try.
Fail, and then fail better. #WednesdayWisdom
Walk into the darkness.
Don’t look back at your ghost, it’ll never serve you.
What once was, is no longer.
Step up, meet it, match it, expand it.
I stood stunned.
Who are you to tell me this?
How dare you.
How dare your courage, your groundedness, your skill, your success.
How dare your reason, your age, your wisdom, your heart.
Oh, child, you need to rid yourself of perfection.
It has never served you.
It never will.
Step up, meet yourself new; match it, expand it.
I said, fuck you.
I felt hot tears melt away makeup and mask.
I wanted to run away,
but I found myself nodding in agreement and making those “hmm” sounds like, “good one.”
Like, that’s funny.
And yet, she’s right.
She’s fucking right.
Heavy foot, right left.
Trying to shrug it off.
Get over it, just do it.
Flashes of humiliation.
Two sides, one coin.
No one is right.
Yet it feels so real.
Get out there, get out of your head.
Do it over and over.
Fail and fail better.
I am visited by doubt.
I am visited by weight.
I am visited by the Ghost of Comparison, who rears its lion head.
It’s mane as thick as cement.
As permanent as fake truth, fake facts.
It’s a lie, right?
Come on, pull yourself out of this muck.
A rush of cold water to the face, do it.
Do it now. Do it quick.
Heal this wound by ripping the bandaid off like, Right Now.
People are dying, hurricanes are whirling, our world is in need of less self-centeredness, more generosity.
But first, slow motion.
A pain so sharp, it cuts.
Senses are lost in a fog, come back soon.
And there’s a void.
A real one.
Why did he have to go?
Heart beats heavy sighs and legs demand a slower pace.
It takes a million years for arms to move this way and that.
Three weeks is a very long time..
And yet, benign.
I think of those who’ve passed.
Like the pictures of Ron Heren, taped to the fatal pole, the one that ended his life.
A corner where Jackie and I must wait for the lights to change.
Leaving your loved one is like a death.
And yet, so benign.
Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.
Be tomorrow now.
Fast forward to the race’s end.
Change the lights quick.
Bring back comfort, my pillows and blankets.
Speed this time forward like a jet plane.
He: Well, it’s like a pyramid.
She: Don’t talk to me about pyramids. That guy? That fuckin’ Bernie Madoff? Have you seen the movie with Michelle Pfeifer and Robert DeNiro?
He: That’s not what I mean —
She: — Well, it’s fucked up. And everyone said the movie was shit but I liked it. Anyway.
He: This pyramid is different, Auntie.
She: Different, how?
He: You put your life’s goal at the top and then you backward map.
She: A map?
He: Backward Map!
She: Well —
He: — If you gotta go down the street to buy a carton of milk, what would you do to get there?
She: Is this a game? Like, do you want an answ —
He: — I’m trying to explain what it means. You would put your shoes on, get your jacket on, find your purse, look for your keys, get your wallet, make sure you have enough money to buy milk —
She’: Yeah I know, milk is getting very expensive —
He: — AND THEN. And then you have to cross the street, pass the school and head to the corner store. Backward mapping is the reverse. You start with the carton of milk in your hand and you map out how you got there.
She: Gotcha. So, what does milk have to do with your pyramids?
He: Nothing, forget the milk. I’m trying to tell you that I got the gist of how I’m going to get to university.
She: Oh that, how? Selling milk?
She giggles. He sighs.