making movies be like…

BTS-Sunset-Boulevard-2-ws-1280x956

Sweating through shirts!

Hitting the pillow at 2am

Laughing through tears!

Canned food for breakfast.

Worn out keyboard!

Facing your fears, Every. Moment.

Hearing NO and doing it anyway!

Listening to “Onto The Next One” by Jay Z, on repeat

Talking about the equipment list with the door open as you pee!

Zoom meetings over Zoom meetings over Zoom meetings

Feeling like a baby is birthing all day, every day!

Using creative inventions when resources are for naught

Saying thank you, a zillion times, to everyone who’s said, “Yes, I’ll be there.”

Meeting minutes, agenda items, tasks, due dates, reminders, alerts, on repeat!

Being swung around by Creativity, as we dance at the edge of a mountain

Looking at the dog and remember we’re still loved!

Exhilaration, x 10.

who cares

Who gives a fuck?
What for?
What experience do you seek?
It’s been too long.
There’s a gap.
You’re on the other side of it.

Really? Why?
Move on.
You’re late.
You never arrived.
Everything everyone says is true.
Listen to them.

Stop while you’re ahead.
The market is saturated.
Oh my god, there you go again.
Let it go.
That’s not you.

It was a stupid idea, anyway.
It didn’t have legs.
You’re not ready.
That someone else’s idea, that’s already happened.

Forgot that shit, let’s do something fun.
Let’s go out.
Let’s go get a drink.
I wanna binge watch that show.
You have to come with me.
This is better.

dear sugar

Cheryl Strayed Dear Sugar

Sunday morning.
The sun peeps through clouds.
I am dreaming of another time, another place, another life.
I look around and imagine life behind another’s closed doors.

I think of Dear Sugar, of Cheryl Strayed.
What a powerhouse.
A heart as big as houses.
As dense, mysterious and spacious as that corner one over there, with the high-reaching trees that guard it.

I think of the vulnerability of humans.
How we seek help from strangers, without filter, without fear.
Parental issues, a miscarriage, an affair, coming out, etc.
Here we are asking each other to hold our hand, to be there as we walk through a dark patch.
Cheryl, Dear sugar, is a real Street Level Miracle.
Radically empathetic.

Take a listen or read the book some time.

farts + trader joes

FADE IN: a car, 2 friends peeling mandarins:

“I mean, now what? We just go back to farts and Trader Joes?”
She looks at me expecting an answer.
Farts and Trader Joes…yeah, that seems about right. You spend enough time with someone, sure, that’s what happens.
I nod.
She scoffs and looks away.
“It’s not fair,” she says quietly.
She’s so pretty when she’s mad/frustrated/sad/resentful/vulnerable.
When she’s human.
“Well, it can be,” I finally say. “If you changed your family, culture, social mindset, your marriage. Become someone else, reinvent yourself!, and then educate everyone around you on the new You.”
She looks at me, “Stop it.”
“I mean it.”
“That’s not going to happen,” she says, slipping back into her lawyer voice.
“Then forget her.”
She swallows thick. It’s audible.
“I can’t…”
A beat. 
“How do you feel about farts and Trader Joe’s with her?”
“That’s different.”
“Nope, no it’s not. Same shit different smell.”
A slow smile curls across her lips, “She’s different, her farts smell like roses.”
I burst into laughter — bahahahaahaha.

peru shoe

My set of keys:

At the center, is a single miniature shoe from Peru with traditional Peruvian colors. I had been trying to find a keychain for the longest time. I went to so many thrift stores sifting to find the perfect one. My partner said to wait, let the right one come to you. Ah, the story of my life. Well, when I least expected it, it arrived. My friend Lauren gave it to me when she visited Peru last year. Or was it the year before? It’s cute, it’s simple, it brings a smile to my face.

My friendship with Lauren is pretty unexpected too. We were workmates and had to handle a challenging project that required lots of time together. I believe if I can like you through the stressful times, I’ll like you forever. And that’s what happened. She’s a giver and every time she visits anywhere, she returns with symbolic gifts for her workmates. I mean, workmates? Who does that? She teaches me generosity and to slow down, to not eat so fast.

I have new keys to an apartment that’s very new to me still. We live by the beach in a 2 bedroom apartment that hugs similar apartments off a busy main road. It’s simple, cosy and at the same time quite modern. These keys are new to me. I don’t have a connection with them yet, and still, they’re the object I tend to hold the most besides my phone. There’s a mail key, apartment key, and a gate key. I have a weird lock-type silver key I have no idea where it belongs, but that’s there too.

These keys remind me to familiarize myself with the new Now. To enjoy the newness of this chapter, to stay curious, to explore, to learn as I warm up to the keys, the apartment, the neighbors, the drive.

What’s on your key chain?

i’m ready

I want to
I want to be someone else or I’ll explode
Floatin’ upon this surface for the birds
The birds
The birds

You want me?
Fuckin’ well, come and find me
I’ll be waitin’
With a gun and a pack of sandwiches
And nothin’
Nothin’
Nothin’

You want me?
Well, come and break the door down
You want me?
Fuckin’ come and break the door down
I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready
I’m ready,
I’m ready

__

Radiohead, Talk Show Host
#dancebreak

man course

FADE IN: 2 girls with teas-in-tow.

So I’m walking with my girl, you know, shooting the shit, I hadn’t seen her in like a minute, and out of the fuckin’ blue, we hear this guy shout out to us. The next thing we know, he’s directly in front of us, well, my friend.
“I had to stop you and tell you I think you’re beautiful,” he tells her.
My friend giggles completely flattered.
We say some warm stranger hello’s and then his boy is next to us shooting the shit with me.
“What are you guys up to?” the first guy says.
I point to my friend and tell them I haven’t her in a minute, so we’re gonna go catch up, so thanks but no thanks, you know.
We say our goodbyes. That was flattering, you know, blahblah, and then we keep walking.

About a minute later, the friend dude is running up behind us. He’s panting cuz it’s been like 2 blocks, “Ladies!” he yells. We stop.
“I just needed to know,” — still panting — “Are there boyfriends in the equation or can I ask you out for a drink sometime?” He’s looking right at me.
My friend, still flattered, says with a huge grin, “Sorry, we’re committed.”
“Ok, but does he have to know?” this time he’s staring right at me.
“I don’t do that,” I tell him with a little, you know, back the fuck up, bitch! — I mean, who says that?!
My friend gives me a “Be nice” look.
I mean, come on!

Anyway, that’s besides the point. It dawns on me, you know, 3 minutes later, that about a month ago, a student of mine told me he was in this man course on how to date a woman. And he showed me the same trajectory — you know, run up to the girl, stop in front of her so she can’t keep walking, say something nice. My student does it to me on the street after class one day, I thought it was crazy and told him that. And then here we are, this guy did the same thing to us. He’s taking the fuckin’ course!