She doesn’t say thank you.
We took her to the moon and back, showed her the stars; live music, delicious eats, Nature, space, room to breathe, ears to listen, shoulders for padding — we have been the best hosts.
And yet.. no thanks.
Thank you for buying dinner.
Thank you for making me tea.
Thank you for driving me around.
Thank you for the company.
Thank you For. It. All.
I’m watching myself retract from her.
I’m watching myself not wanna care.
Something so simple.
Three words that make all the difference.
Why am I so attached?
Why do I need that gratification? And so immediately?
I let it go for some months.
Let this new light fester.
Out of the blue, she reached out and asked what I wanted for Christmas
To say thanks for making her first West Coast visit one of her favorite memories.
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
– Derek Walcott
The month of June’s Full Moon’s name is the Full Strawberry Moon. It got its name because the Algonquin tribes knew it as a signal to gather ripening fruit.
Here are my strawberry-moon-ripening-fruit offerings:
I let go of weeds.
I let go of “doing it wrong”.
I let go of sourness.
I cultivate sweetness.
I cultivate softness.
I cultivate juiciness.
1. Full of play or fun; sportive; frolicsome.
2. Pleasantly humorous or jesting: a playful remark.
Playfulness scares the shit outta me.
It is now my word for 2017.
Playfulness is the fizz in champagne.
It is youth, primary colors and real listening; it is teamwork, instincts and responsiveness; it is fearlessness and the lack thereof to know the Bitter End; it reminds me of a smile or a jovial smirk. It is confidence, it is three dimensional…
It is the fizz in champagne.
In a hot steamy room full of yogis this week the teacher asked, “Are you OK to be playful today?” Great question. “Are you OK” signifies do you have it in you to take on a challenge such as this? Are you OK means do you have room in your busy, serious brains to make space for something different? “To be,” signifies “Now” as in here, this moment and then this moment. And “playful today” signifies zero commitments; it is more like a teaser, a sample, a taste, a wooing of sorts that lures you in for more. Playful attracts Curiosity. Why, of course, it is Playful’s best friend.
They are the fizz in champagne.
Continue reading “fizz in champagne”
What do you see when you look back at me?
Is it filled with sunsets and roses and overflowing abundance?
Is it complicated like a puzzle but significant when finished?
Do you see primary colors or shades within shades?
Future, I am observing my fear now.
I see how much She steps in and plays fiddle with my decisions.
I now see that dots have been connected and throughlines are emerging:
This and this equals the other this, which is why I do that.
Continue reading “breadcrumbs”