christmas like no other

home for the holidays

No tree.
No gifts.
No family.
No friends.
No travel.
No holiday food.
No other homes.
No parties.
No guests.
Lots of invitations.

This year we are at home.
This year we welcome a new member to the family so simplicity is key.
This year things are unconventional.

Am I sad? Probably not.
Am I missed? Probably not.
Am I forgotten? Probably not.

Continue reading “christmas like no other”

plate of goodness (pt 2)

plate of goodness

Count your chews.
Hold the elevator door.
Re-read a book.
Go outside more often.
Wind down the windows, turn off the A/C.

Smile back at a dog.
Call your mum.
Save money.
Don’t wait for that rainy day.
Do. It. Now.

Continue reading “plate of goodness (pt 2)”

do something new

change is doing something you've never done

And so it is.
We have finally arrived.
These 2 weeks have been hectic, to say the least.
Flying in from NY and then jumping into picking up our lives and moving forward.
Life has been boxes within boxes within boxed chaos.
I sit in my new living room with a tea and computer, like it’s the first.

It’s quiet.

The sound of a water stream from a machine in our neighbor’s front lawn.
The sound of Sunday cars in the distance.
The sun warming up the boxes out front ready to be recycled.

It is quiet.

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take it back

dark-shadowsA crash.
Pang! Pow! Look out!
Tight jaws and bejeweled fists.
Words spoken, take them back.
No.

Just when things were going great.
The sun was shining, the day bright, possibility sat drunk in love next to you.
How did this happen?

Dark shadows.
A choke, a muffle.
Please stop, it hurts.
No.

I want to rewind time.
I want to take it all back.
I want to start again.
I want to say sorry but it may happen again.

No one ever wins.

afterglow-in-transit

Thrilled Selfies.png

This, here, is afterglow.

This is the face of what it takes to achieve a goal.
A vigorous goal.
An almost unattainable goal.
A community goal. A, “it takes a village” goal.
A goal of deadlines, staring into screens, into phones, into each other’s numb eyes whispering, “Can we do it?”

Can we do it?

This face comes after days that feel like Ground Hog Day.
On repeat, again and again.
Of coffee cups, pajama pants, and desk chairs.
Of phone stitched into body like a 6th extension.

Tired Fingers.
Warped brain.
Fuzzy peach focus.
Patches of half-eaten food on plates.

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hard + deep

Jackie Robinson My Heart

We had this romantic story in our minds that we’ll adopt a shelter dog, save him from death or some other trauma; that he’ll come into our home and “behave” and love us instantly.

We thought, “What one dog gets the worst rap? Pit bulls? Ok, let’s do that.”

We were naive.
We were young and wild and free.
And now here we are.

I really didn’t know what I was getting into.
Sure, my heart melts at the thought of any dog getting euthanized but my heart was put to the test this time. We got him.
This is my life now.
Things have changed.

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open veins

Work is getting up early and going home late.

Turning down dates and giving up weekends.

Writing and rewriting.

Reviewing and revising.

Rote and routine.

Staring down the doubt of the blank page.

Beginning when we do not know where to start.

And not stopping when we cannot go on.

It is not fun, romantic, or, most of the time, even interesting.

If we want to create, we must, in the words of Paul Gallico, open our veins and bleed.

__
Kevin Ashton, How to Fly a Horse