dance with adversity

Abraham Lincoln

After his family was evicted from their home, he had to drop out of school to support them.

At age 21, he experienced his first failure in business. Then, at age 22, he ran for state legislature, and lost. He also lost his job in the process. So he applied for law school, but got rejected.

At 24, he borrowed some money from a friend to start another business, and within 12 months he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt!

At 26, his first love died, leaving him heartbroken. This also led to a nervous breakdown a year later.

He was defeated when he ran for speaker of his state legislature. He also got rejected when he sought to become the elector.

He ran for Congress at 34, and was defeated again. Then he finally won, but lost his re-election.

He sought the job of land officer in his home state, and got rejected. At 45, he ran for Senate of the United States, and lost.

At 47, he sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party’s national convention, and got less than 100 votes. He ran for U.S. Senate again at 49, and lost for a second time.

Finally, at 52 years old, he became the 16th President of the United States.

Although he suffered from clinical depression throughout his life, his ability to handle conflict and dance with adversity was unmatched, and scholars now rank Abraham Lincoln as one of the greatest Presidents ever.

——
Light

create from the hurty poos

the hurty poos

“What are we trying to heal, anyway?

The athlete knows the day will never come when he wakes up pain-free. He has to play hurt.

Remember, the part of us that we imagine needs healing is not the part we create from; that part is far deeper and stronger.

The part we create from can’t be touched by anything our parents did, or society did. That part is unsullied, uncorrupted; soundproof, waterproof, and bulletproof.

In fact, the more troubles we’ve got, the better and richer that part becomes.”

― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

a curse (not really)

a curse (not really)

Dreamy.
I love you oceans.
She says, not just to me.

It’s hard to hear from her.
It’s like the sting from rubbing alcohol.
Why didn’t I matter?
No return phone call.
No response
No reaction.

Silence.
The worst punishment.
Punishable by death.
And I’m in the chair.

Talented, skinny, sexy, confident, fun, adventurous, a killer IG account.
I know, superficial, but JesusChrist does that count in my brain.
Pride envelopes me.
Fuck you, on heated lips, on repeat.
Thick black ash in my heart.

A curse.

No!
Those things work.
Stop that.
Don’t be a child.

A curse.

I mean it!
God.
What is this, medieval times?

A curse?

Not really.
More like blessings beyond reach, an avalanche.
I do.
I wish you,
the best.
Cuz you’re fuckin’ talented and I love you.
I love you.

you’re not alone

justin-bieber-by-david-black-for-complex-1.jpg

He’s just too much. It’s like I’m living with a teenager. And it’s really ethereal; he gets on your nerves in this really subtle, papercut way. Tiny actions that add up.
He doesn’t pick up after himself, he leaves the water filter empty, he puts his dirty runners on the couch, he never washes the dishes, he comes home past 2am drunk every night – you can hear him staggering into bed, reeking of cigarettes.

That part? I can tolerate that.
Hard to believe, but it’s true.
I can tolerate all of it.

It’s the subtle shit that makes me want to blow my brains out.
He never asks me how I’m doing, he never asks how my day went. He walks into a room, interrupts a conversation and starts talking about the failed connection he just had with this woman and that.
But get this.
He doesn’t see it as a failure; there’s a kind of delusions of grandeur happening. Time and time again, women have shown in their very mercurial, catlike, non-confrontational ways: they’re not interested.
So, why don’t you get it?
They don’t write back. They don’t call back. They ignore you. Broken promises. They say thanks but no thanks by not saying it.
Well…
That part would make me wanna blow my brains out too.
Women suck at communicating with the opposite sex. Period. Continue reading “you’re not alone”

on stillness

I found this writing on stillness within my journal notes from 2011. To think I’ve been on this train since then…

on stillness

Stillness is the ground of being from which all else emerges.
It is within and behind every breath, every thought, every action.
It is my starting point, my resting place, the home base to which I can return again, and again.

In stillness I notice how time and space disappear.
All there is is the present moment and my willingness to listen …
To allow the stillness to speak.

The stillness takes me into a realm of conscious awareness
that transcends my identity as body or mind.
Stillness offers an experience of being
and a recognition that my being …
my essence …
is a part of all Being, all Essence.

– Meditation and Rituals of Conscious Living
Nancy J. Napier & Carolyn Tricomi

good deeds

good deeds

A remote tribe in the southern part of Africa was discovered to employ a unique tactic for righting a wrong:

When a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, while every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual.

Then, one at a time, each person in the tribe steps in front of the accused and recalls a positive deed the person in the circle has done in his lifetime. All of his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. This ceremony can last for several days.

At the end, the circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is welcomed back into the good graces of the tribe.

___
Light