This quality of her’s, this ability to adapt to anything, is what got her here in the first place.
My mom adapted to each new rung on the ladder, and then the next step down didn’t seem so bad. Take for instance the hurricane that hit Florida a month before the paramedics came for my mom. As the Category 5 storm was making landfall, David (her son) decided to go for a drive. He was pulled over by the cops, which wasn’t that surprising since the car had no registration, no insurance, no working tail lights, and a crack windshield. David, who had no license, and maybe had taken some pills to boot, had been pulled over twice already for having that car on the road.
He was thrown in jail for a week and my mother was left all alone.
“I mean, I’m sitting here in total darkness, I mean, there weren’t even any street lights on. Wires. You know, wires falling down. Everything was chaotic and then, of course, I started drinking out of control and that was…you know. It just. You know, it started out as, you know, I just wanted a little relief from this insanity, and it made me even more insane.”
“How come you didn’t call me during that whole period?”
“Maybe because I really didn’t know what to say, Josh.”
“Well I wish I had…had known to come down, I mean. That’s. You know, and then especially as it got worse. I mean, I wish somebody had called –”
“Yeah, I know//”
“//Ethan or I could’ve come out.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I understand that, Josh, but it’s just like…”
[She starts crying]
“I wasn’t saying that for you to feel guilty about not calling me, I was just –”
“No, it’s hard to explain. It’s just that, you know, you don’t want to intrude into you and Ethan’s life and say, ‘One more time, one more time, one more time’.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have minded.”
“Well, I didn’t know that at the time.”
“I would’ve rather that than be wound up down here for 4 months.”
“Yeah. I know that.”
“That’s part of the whole cycle, you don’t. You don’t want to tell anybody else because. I mean, if you’re telling somebody else then you have to — you’re telling yourself. Which is the last thing you want to do.”