always you

I have known you for years.
Actual fuckin’ years.
It’s like you were never not there.
What was life without you?

My mind is filled with memories these days.
Flashes of our beginning, like CUT TO’s on a film script.
You kissed me.
Without fear, without reason, without logic.
A shock. A freeze in time. A very unplanned reaction.
And yes, a desire mutually yearned for.
A throbbing that changed the trajectory of our lives forever.

Hastily running back into your building, knocking on your apartment door — again, logic out the window —
I stood there naked, unsure, oh-so scared, bliss cells thrilling through my body.
Heart holding fort.
Mind in the corner with piercing eyes, “This will end badly,” it warns.
We kiss again.

Pillows and blankets.
Getting to know you as the sun greeted us for the new day
A new day, a new life.
Dreams of you kissing me, holding me, whispering to my heart, “I love you.”
I love you…

Logical brain cold-showering me.
“This can’t happen. This is not allowed. He must go away.”
Meaningless walks where Heart sighs heavy as Mind kicks it to the corner in punishment.
Heart looking up in desperation amidst streaming hot tears, “Why not?”

Years later.
Laughter, love, travel, companionship, births and deaths, and still…you.
Always you.
You are my favorite person.
You remain the Only.

Author: pizzaslices

Liza is an actor and co-creator of Subway Token Films, a film production company that captures Street Level Miracles through films. That is, moments in our lives when the story as we know it stops, the lens is pulled back and something more expansive is revealed to us. Liza has won awards and audiences alike for her portrayals of the immigrant story on stage and film. She lives in New York City and Los Angeles with her partner, actor Felix Solis.