A Middle Eastern-looking woman, in a Burqa, stands in the near distance…“That is just embarrassing. I could never wear that. I mean, look at her. She’s a disgrace to the female sex. How do you even see through that? I don’t want to know. And how does she get through the metal detectors? I wonder if they ask her to take it off. Yeah. Not for me. No thank you.
…Oh, that lane seems to be moving faster. Where’s that girl with the hooker heels? Look! She’s passed us already. Damn it. That’s all they’re making these days. Hooker heels. I mean, I rarely buy heels anymore. No, I’m quite comfortable in my Jimmy Choo’s. But I’m not gonna wear my Jimmy’s to the airport. No way. Running from one terminal to the next and – what? Run them to the ground? Who’s gonna reimburse me, huh? You know, they say that each pair is made by hand. Do you believe that? I don’t know if I do but it sounds good…Damn it. So much for having time to walk around.
…In Atlanta they have 3 lanes: one for babies, one for the disabled, and another one for people. I just wished they had one lane for frequent flyers that know what to do. Like an express lane. You know, like, you have to apply to be approved in order to use that lane. Delta had a program like that last year introducing an express lane system. It was a rigorous application, you had to get fingerprinted and Homeland Security guys had to check your background. It cost, like, $150 and people did it, and then it disappeared as fast as it appeared. All these people lost their $150. It was awful…I was about to do it.
The lane trucks along slowly towards the metal detectors. Exhausted employees. The center woman in a sweat-stained uniform shouts to the crowd, “Remove all belts, shoes, keys and metal accessories from your pockets. Please be ready when you get to the front.”
…Come on people, listen to the lady. Don’t make this so difficult…
The floors are filthy. They obviously don’t care. How dare they ask us to remove our shoes…
Ooooh, you just gotta have a zen mind about it.”